I really feel we’re warming up with this cleanse. Next job in the expulsion half of the cleanse is to help cleanse the body. So tomorrow you’re going to need to sweat it all out with an Epsom salt bath. You’ve got to stay in the sweaty bath for at least 20 mins, ideally with some candles burning. It’s very important at this point to be SILENT. You need to REFLECT. If this was a film, this is the moment you realise you are Joseph’s Gordon Levitt in 500 days of summer and it’s not going to be ok. We all love JGL so that makes life a bit easier. (if you want to do angry drunk karaoke on your path to enlightenment, a la JGL in 500 days, that would be great) Once you have completed your 20 minute sweat, you feel pretty dizzy and dehydrated, so the second part of the task is to go and down a pint of water, and have a lie down for half an hour in a darkened room and listen to some whale music. You should feel so at one with the world by that point you’ll be emanating more zen than Russell Brand when he went through that phase of wearing all white kaftan robes and talking about yoga all the time*

*He clearly wasn’t that zen, so I’ve set the bar quite low.


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