Hello legions of fans. I *KNOW* you missed my hilarious ramblings about my failure to find a boyfriend. Well guess what. After a winter of hibernating and stuffing my face with every kind of carbohydrate, I’ve decided it’s time to re-enter the world of dating. And, more specifically finding a husband.
You may think this is just because the daffodils are out and the Americans are off on ‘Spring Break’, but I’ve got no time to be gazing at James Franco tinkling on the old ivories and singing Everytime whilst making eyes at some guy in a vest. NOOOOOO. There is a far more pressing affair. My brother just got engaged.
Now, I’m as up for a bit of strong female ladying as Ariana Grande on a good day, but I AM NOT TURNING UP AT MY YOUNGER BROTHERS WEDDING WITHOUT A DATE. Nope. No-sir-ree.
So here we go fellow daters. I’m going to be like Harry Potter looking for a horcrux. I’m going to be like Wolf from Gladiators going up the wall after some poor sod. I’m going to be like bloody Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen in a haberdashers looking for the final piece of black gothic lace.
You, as ever, are along for the ride. Hold on, because I’m almost certainly going to cry. A lot.